Whine fest

So, I am back from my work trip and have some observations to make:

1. Our nation's capital is a strange, strange place. In some senses, it is quite beautiful. Lots of trees and bushland, beautiful views to the mountains, some absolutely gorgeous homes in leafy suburbs, lots of paths and cycleways and very little traffic. Here's what's wrong with it...

• It's cold. Stupidly cold in October. It would be OK except for the wind chill. Which of course makes it difficult to dress appropriately - one minute you're OK in one layer, then the wind kicks in and you're freezing your tits off, then you go inside and the place is heated to the bejeezus and you want to strip off to your underwear.
• There's nowhere to grab a decent bite to eat unless you are in the middle of the one trendy cafe strip in existence, which of course is miles away from where you need to be to go to work.
• There are no bins. Anywhere. Not in the street, not in buildings. What the hell is up with that? Where do I put the wrappers of all the chocolate I have been forced (*cough*) to eat because there is nowhere to grab a bite to eat?
• Did I mention the wind? It's freezing, and carries all kinds of ridiculous pollens in it which forces even those of us who only suffer hayfever on the very rare occasion to spent a week sneezing, sniffing and coughing. Attractive.
• Exactly how does a 20 minute cab ride cost $60? How?
  
• The airport. One would think that the capital city of an entire nation would have a decent one, right? Wrong. Think backwater country town, then remove anywhere to eat, most of the chairs and all of the bins and add hoards of politicians and public servants going home to the real world for the weekend and that would approximate the mess that is Canberra airport.

2. Air travel, don't you love it? For starters, people in general are rude and stupid. Add in air travel and you can times it by 10. I complained about Canberra airport, but in truth Perth is not much better. I still can't understand why you can check yourself in using a machine and then still have to line up for an age to check your bags in. Why bother? And, note to self - don't wear knee high boots under jeans while travelling. They set off the security thingamies and you need to take them off (no mean feat) at annoyingly regular intervals in case you have a bazooka stuffed down one of them in preparation for going postal at rude and stupid people.

Then there's the travel itself. If, perchance your flight is on time, go and buy yourself a Lotto ticket. And somehow I either get seated next to Rude Large Man or Hooty McBoobs who think it is OK to use BOTH armrests for the entire flight. Better than sitting next to Chatty Mary who wants to talk for the entire flight when I would rather be using the precious few hours of doing nothing that I have to read a book I guess. Or next to Screaming Baby accompanied by Frazzled and Embarrassed Mother and Completely Useless Father. We had one of those on the way back. Not the baby's fault. Not Mum's fault. But it's hard to maintain your empathy when a baby screams like a howling cat fight for 4 hours non-stop. Poor thing, poor Mum, poor everyone else on the plane. Dad was fine - he got to eat his meal and watch a movie with the headphones on while Mum dealt with it all. He nearly got the pointy end of my knee high boots.

Of course, after you land you must endure the shit fight that is retrieving your bags (if they have made it at all of course, which thankfully mine did for a change). Seriously lady, park your trolley right in front of the belt and run back and forth yelling "Is that it? What does it look like?". It's OK, your bags are the most important on the plane, you go right ahead. We'll let ours go around 3 times and wait for you to get yours first.

3. Conferences. Why do the programs always look so great, and then the actual speakers fail to live up to expectations? I should have worked that out by now. Thankfully the food was good, I saw some people I haven't seen for a while and I was able to snaffle a bazillion stress balls to amuse the children at home.

PS No repeat of the other night. All seems well. I feel fine, and a little bemused and embarrassed about the whole thing!